9.18.2010

we need to laugh sometimes


Mrs. Tanoy is very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.The ad taker replied: '300 pesos for 5 words.'She said: 'Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead''Ad taker: 'No mam. 5 words is the minimum.'After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: 'Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo :'TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE '


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Boy: Nay may ulam ba?Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.Boy: Eh nay, wala naman tayong ref, di ba?Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!


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Caloy: Tay, di ba sabi nyo bibigyan nyo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.


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Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;At 63, quits having sex. Power Failure.


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Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow?Tindero: One way.Kano: Meg-kanow?Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.Kano: Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!


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Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!Loi: San ang balitang yan?Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; 'British tourist lost 2000 pounds.'


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MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator):Name?Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?


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BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha. Bubusina nalang ako pag nasa harap nako ngbahay nyo.GF: Cge. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?BF: Wala. Busina lang...-


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Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind,highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with akiller instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko nalang angmag-apply?


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Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO.But....when HE cancels a date......he HAS TWO.


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unior: Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.Nanay: Hindi high cake, anak. HOT CAKE yun.Junior: Ok nay, watever. Pahingi nalang ng barya.Nanay: Sige, kumuha ka nalang dyan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.


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Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift?Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment paramagmukha akong bata?Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!


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ORDERCustomer ... waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cooknyo dito?Waiter ... ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang po!!


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PROBLEMA NGAPasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umagadumudumi ako...Doktor ... so, anong problema doon?Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.


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PINTURAErap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.

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MANNY PAKYAWReporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa'tround sa bukseng?


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HOLDAPLola ... Amang, wala akong pera!Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!



Thanks for sharing (PEBORIT)

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